FINDING THE JOY WITH THE INVISIBLES

Written by Leslie Wan 

On more than one occasion when I mention that I love a little school called the S.T.E.P. Centre, I am asked to tell folks about it. I explain what it is, the children they serve, and the people who are there. The question that has come up a few times following the explanation is ..."How do you do that? Isn't it hard? I don't think I could deal with that sadness. " Now on those few occasions, I have been surprised. I have had to put together a less than articulate response. My first thoughts have been - "Sadness - what sadness?"  Then there is stifled anger because I think - "hard?" .....Hard is the child who lives with it..........Hard is the parent or guardian who deals with it at all the moments that are mundane, but totally important for that child....... Hard is the working parent who wonders how they can do this EVERY day for the rest of their life because they love that child no less than their other children, BUT will ALWAYS have that child for ALL of that child's life.

So let me see if I can put into words what these children bring to my life or  anyone's life who is touched by them.

1. ...True joy, the kind that when I leave on some days, I ask myself why do my cheeks hurt? The answer is, because I smiled so much I didn't realize it, and my cheek muscles got a work out. Oh I smile in life as much as I can, but these children make me have marathon smiles, and yet I never even realize I am smiling. Who can't be drawn into the moment when a child sees you  approaching and is genuinely happy to see you, and smiles so beautifully in greeting?

Joy and laughter on any given day

2. Laughter - Example - Working with a young fellow when it is obvious he is tired and doesn't want to do any more. I say "__________  just write your name for me on the bottom of your workbook now and we can be done for today." He looks at me with a very cheeky grin and says " Auntie didn't you go to school?" ... Auntie says... " Ofcourse I went to school!"  That cheeky grin gets bigger when he says " And you can't figure out how to write my name?"  Well I "buss" out with one big laugh and THEN I make him finish my request. (Which he does and then we laugh some more.) They simply make you laugh with some of the goofy things they do!

Who knows what can be accomplished if you just reach for it. 

3. Reality..........Reality isn't always a bad thing actually. On any given day we deal with so many people who appear to only be on the surface. You question sometimes, is there a motive here? You circle around not engaging too much while you ponder that.   But these children do not have a motive behind their gratitude. They are who they are and unfortunately can never change that. Is that hard for me? Sure-  You betcha!!! Sometimes I realize by engaging my heart so much, I may one day deal with a deep loss, such as death. But that is far outweighed by the gratitude I feel that here, things are for simple uncomplicated reasons and the children ask only kindness, patience, respect and attention. Simple as that......  

  

4. Finding a moment far outside myself. .......Nothing about this place or these children is about me! It is all about them! It is all about placing my heart and my energy in a greater calling than what makes me happy. It is about spiritually and emotionally adopting more children than the Lord gave me. Putting yourself aside is necessary in life. If these side moments never happen you never have the clarity and the gratitude to see what you are blessed with in life or the wonder of what a heart connection can make or what you bring to the world to make someone happy. "The invisibles" - that is who these children are if we don't stop to see them as we step outside ourselves. They could be invisible, they could be scorned, OR,  they can be that moment to remember that we all have a place in this world, and we all bring something to others if we open our eyes and our hearts to the view.

So remember..... it isn't always about any grand gesture that should paralyze you from "getting involved" ..The conversation in your head can be ........Oh my time is so limited and I just don't have a moment to spare. .........Prices are rising and I can't catch my breath  for  trying to figure out how to keep up........... What good is it if I can't make a full commitment of  resources or time? ............... 

The answer to all these questions above are the following........
I walk( thank heavens for me), I breathe normally and naturally, and my head and heart needs to have  time - to step outside myself . I need to remember the blessings that I have in life, experience the unparalleled and uncomplicated joy of being with little people who enjoy a moment in life in its simplest form. Too much of the rest of our lives are full of complications.

 That is the fact here..... While you are spending time with them ( or for them) ..... you actually are doing for yourself too. Your heart is expanded, your blessings are magnified and your smiles and joy are evident when 
you leave. 

How do I answer those folks about dealing with the sadness..........

They give me far more than I give them and they make my life fuller and richer because of my time with the children, and my other activities for the school! 

  

Leslie Wan (11 year volunteer)